Mad Max, upon finding himself in a post-apocalyptic society where the only rules were to make your own rules, decided to tackle the problem of conserving his dwindling fuel supplies by driving around in a V8 muscle car, armed to the teeth and acting like an all round bad ass.

Today, as fuel prices start to spiral, we don’t quite recommend Max’s tactics just yet. Instead, try the fuel conservation tips below first.

Then, if they still don’t work, by all means super-charge your Ford Mondeo and attack your local petrol station with a bazooka…

Stage One: Maintenance

a) Regular servicing

The automotive equivalent of a coffee enema, putting your car through its regular service will help blow out all the cobwebs and fill it full of vim and vigour.

b) Correct engine oil

Quit being a cheap date and shell out for a decent drop for your car. Think how much smoother your date will run if you served Moet rather than Blue Nun. Your manual should tell you the correct grade of oil you need.

c) Check tyre pressures

Like the reverse of a kid at Fat Camp, constantly check your tyre pressures to make sure they’re not losing anything. The softer your tyres the more their rolling resistance, so the more fuel they consume.

Stage Two: Before the journey

a) Lose weight

The more weight you are carrying, the more fuel your car will use. Remove all non-essential items from your car before your trip, even if this means giving your 16-stone mother-in-law 50p for the bus.

b) Streamline

During the winter Olympics you’ll rarely see a bob-sleigh with a roof box. There is a reason for this. Adding any kind of extra bulk to the outside of your car will increase its wind drag, and this will decrease its fuel efficiency.

c) Plan your route

If you’re the type of driver who regularly goes out for some milk and then finds themselves eight hours later in a cul de sac on the outskirts of Leicester, frantically trying to read the bit of the map in the crease, then you’re no stranger to wasting fuel. Instead, plan unfamiliar routes first, or invest in a sat nav.

d) Combine small journeys

The more times you need to start your car from cold, the more fuel you will use. If you know you will have a few errands to run, save them up and complete them in one go. Note: this is a get out of jail free card for the lazy… ‘yeah, yeah, I’ll do it tomorrow, I’m trying to conserve fuel by staying in today watching the poker channel in my pants’.

Stage Three: During The Journey

a) Get everyone ready

Instead of sitting in the car with the engine idling, quietly fuming while your spouse suddenly decides they did need the loo after all, don’t turn on your engine until everyone is in, belted up and you’ve put the child locks on.

b) Drive smoothly

If your normal driving style is to tail gate every car, dabbing on and off the brake and throttle, before planting the hammer and screaming past them like a cheeter in a new pair of Nike Airs, consider slowing down and driving at a less erratic and smoother pace.

c) Don’t stop

Well, obviously stop before you plough into that nun pushing a pram across the road, but if possible try to keep rolling for as long as you can before braking, as starting from a standstill will always burn more fuel.

d) Change gears at the right time

Try to strike a happy medium between the old man on the brink of stalling in fifth gear at 20mph and the boy racer who’s maxing his Vauxall Corsa at 7000rpm in 2^nd. Aim to change gears at around 2000rpm for the best fuel efficiency.

e) Cut down the air con

Driving around with the windows up and the air conditioning on used to be a sign of wealth. Like having a mobile phone or not suffering from rickets. However, just as everyone now has a mobile phone and practically nobody has rickets any more, air conditioning is nothing special. At low speeds just open your windows instead and you’ll save fuel.

f) Turn off electrics

Any electrics you have on in the car will be draining fuel, so turn off what you can. Instead of listening to the radio, perhaps you could teach your family a popular Round, such as London’s Burning. You should especially suggest this if you ever have friends of your children in the car with you. All the cool kids love sing Rounds with their parents.

g) Don’t break the speed limit

If you laugh in the face of a criminal record, fines and being banged up in Chokey, then it turns out there’s actually a useful reason to stick to the speed limits. At 70mph you’ll be using 25% less fuel than at 80mph. Who knew following the law had benefits!

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Unless you find yourself digging around your in mixed perennials and striking Black Gold in the back garden — prompting you to dance a jig and wave your hat around as the oil rains down on you — you’re going to be spending an increasing amount of your hard earned shekels on fuel for your car, and not on those lovely Belgian chocolates.

So, if you’re going to keep yourself in the wide-screen TVs and scented candles that you’ve become accustomed to, you should try some of these simple fuel saving tips.

You could even mutter to yourself — in the words of Mad Max — ‘I am the road warrior’.

Got a tip to save on fuel? Leave it as a comment below…